This is it

    So Monday I had a dental appointment on base, it was at 10am and I would be done around 11:30. I called Jon and asked if he wanted to meet to get lunch or talk because we never see each other. Surprisingly he did not ignore my call and actually agreed. He has lunch from 11-1 and usually goes to the gym, but I thought he would see the importance of seeing me.

    After my appointment, I called him..texted him..and was ignored. About an hour later he calls me and says he "forgot" and went to the gym. I'm a real priority I guess.

    Two days later, I'm in Oceanside again for an appointment with my Psychiatrist and Therapist at 2pm. I told him the night before I was going to come down early so we could go out to lunch together and I'd have Paisley this time so he could see her. Since he'd only seen her for 45min in the past two weeks. Apparently he "forgot" then too and went to the gym. I saw him for about 8 minutes.

    I went to my appointments, tried to talk my way into stronger meds with no luck. Although I did get a prescription for Ambien..success there I guess. I didn't have much to talk with my therapist about other than my confusion about what Jon really wants and me not knowing weather to hold on or give up. I went back to base after because I wanted to get a final answer from Jon. I asked him what he wants, does he want me, someone else, or to be single and have no responsibility. All he had to say was, "Why do you care?" Why do I care? oh idk..because we have a child who's future depends on this, he's moving to WY in three months and idk if I'm going with him or not. If I'm not then I need to figure out how I can make money and/or go to school all while taking care of an <1 year old as a single woman.

    I told Jon, "If you refuse to seek counseling, I have no choice but to go to base legal and get divorce papers." THIS is when he decides to tell me He already went on Tuesday and he is currently at the courthouse submitting marriage dissolution papers. He tells me this through a text. Not Monday when I was there, before he went. Not earlier that day when I saw him and I was about to see my therapist (which would have worked out nicely because I could have talked to her about it). He tells me he's doing it for me, because he can't give me what I need. I just love how he always turns it around to get the blame off him. He just can't admit that he can't handle the hard work and responsibility of having a family. That he's not mature enough to put other people before himself. No, he says it's for me.

I really want nothing more than to take a metal baseball bat to his head. I seriously keep day dreaming of beating the shit out of him. I could really use some Ambien right now.